ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
