They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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