Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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