i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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