i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
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