My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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