Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
