I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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