It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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