i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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