One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
