I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
