Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
