I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Randomize
