Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
