And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
