Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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