why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
