There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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