Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
