new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
