moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I see more hoeing in ur future
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