Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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