and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
