he thought i was a dude.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
