I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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