We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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