Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
