She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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