i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
