yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
