look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize