I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I am naked and annoyed.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize