Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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