Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Come see our sink grown plant.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
