And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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