If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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