How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
why is half of my head shaved?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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