He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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