Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize