So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
