Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I did not marry a roomba.
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