Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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