I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Drunk is not a location!
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
