Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Randomize
