How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
