if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
