Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
