and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
