i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
