just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i will never coherently bang her
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize