Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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