He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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