Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
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