New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
