the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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