Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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